Finally.. Friendly Feedback!

 Hello dear readers! If you've been wondering what I've been doing for the last few days instead of posting on my blog, I can explain! Once I had finished my script for the short film, I decided to message some trusted friends of mine for their feedback and criticism of the script, since I welcome any opportunity for improvement! I'm very fortunate to have such intelligent minds at arm's reach, so here's my breakdown of their reaction to the script, as well as any points that were important enough to go back and change in my script!

One of the people I reached out to is my good friend and fellow writer Isabella Novarini, who is a good friend of mine and a former student of AICE MEDIA. I sought her advice because she's a very talented writer, and while I enjoy hearing the perspectives of communications majors, film students and others, at heart this it was really a writer's advice I was hoping to hear, so she was perfect!

It's very nice to hear that she enjoyed both Peter and Rebecca's characters, and slightly irritating to find that I had let a typo slip past me on my final proofread... Anyways, she also brought up another important inconsistency in the script, the pronouns choice I use for H.P, the computer. While I initially used they/them pronouns to keep the computer's identity vague when they first refer to him, I ultimately ended up choosing to use he/him pronouns to better reflect the personification that the family projected onto the device, making him feel more like a real member of the family. Overall, good catching of specific, yet important, inconsistencies!

Next on the list is my good friend Christian. I first met him online through a similar interest in writing and poetry, and now our friendship has devolved into just sending us stupid Twitter memes. Anyways, it was really gratifying to see how Peter's character elicited such a strong reaction from readers, which was the point, to an extent.

 

After clarifying the point of the script (which interestingly enough, he thought would be a better play than it would be a short film) he did express approval over it, especially over the concept and characters. His initial confusion over the point of the computer's funeral provided me with a nice opportunity to explain and justify the ridiculous scenario occurring in the film, which was a nice exercise.

In general, oddly menacing praise aside, it was a good bit of feedback!

Next, of course, I asked my infamous buddy Wade. Unfortunately we weren't able to have a proper conversation about it, so he left me a text list with his thoughts for me to read later.

Was glad to hear more praise for some of the jokes I wrote, and liked the suggestions for some of the more repetitive wording I used and how to replace them to avoid sounding redundant.

... No idea what "sppom" means though...

    Finally, I reached out to Sil, a former AICE Media Student, for some more feedback on the script. And boy did I get it! By the time Sil was done, I had several pages worth of notes to read through. While they were mostly just criticisms of word choice, I did appreciate a critique of David's eulogy, which she referred to as "too formal.. not realistic, people speak in less organized, rambles, especially since you want him to seem dumb, not college educated".  This was a good point, and we had a productive conversation following it! Thanks Sil!

I'm really grateful for being surrounded by such kind and smart people! Mostly the smart part, I couldn't have caught a whole series of small inconsistencies and errors without them! Expect production on the film to start very, very soon! See you then :)